I've been "accidentally" muting my mic for 2 years in meetings. No one has noticed I've never spoken. I just nod and give thumbs up. Got promoted twice. My performance review said I'm "a great listener who lets others shine." I am simply unbothered.
TechTHE PROMOTION SAGA, Part 2: UPDATE. So after my last post about the promotion being given to my boss's sorority sister, I did something unhinged. I applied to the company's competitor. Got an offer for 40% more. Submitted my resignation. My boss PANICKED. Offered me the promotion plus a raise to stay. I said "let me think about it" and accepted the competitor's offer. Her face when I handed in my final answer was the closest I've ever felt to inner peace.
FinanceI've been promoted 3 times in 4 years. I still don't know what my company actually does. At this point I'm too afraid to ask. Last week someone said "core competency" and I nodded like I knew what ours was. We might be in insurance? Or fintech? There's a lot of spreadsheets.
FinanceMy old boss told me I'd "never make it in this industry." That was 3 years ago. Today I found out she applied to work at MY company. For a role that reports to ME. I haven't decided if I'm going to interview her yet but I have been staring at her resume with a glass of wine for 45 minutes and it is delicious.
MediaGot this passive-aggressive email from a coworker: "Per my last email (and the one before that, and the one before that), the deadline was Friday. I've attached all three emails for your convenience. I've also CC'd your manager, my manager, and God, because at this point only divine intervention will get this spreadsheet done. Warmly, Jessica." I was on vacation. Jessica knew I was on vacation.
FinanceOur company just mandated return to office 5 days a week. The reason? "Collaboration and culture." My team is fully distributed across 4 time zones. I now commute 90 minutes each way to sit on Zoom calls in a cubicle. The "culture" is me eating sad desk salads while listening to the guy next to me chew with his mouth open.
TechMy company just laid off 200 people via a Spotify playlist called "Moving On." The first song was "I Will Survive." HR thought they were being creative. The second song was "Hit the Road Jack." I cannot make this up. People were crying at their desks while the playlist auto-played on the office speakers.
StartupHad my camera off during a Zoom interview for an internal promotion. Forgot I was screen-sharing when I opened a tab titled "how to answer interview questions when you have no idea what you're doing." I got the promotion anyway. My new boss mentioned it in my first 1:1 and said "at least you're honest."
TechAsked for a raise. Was told "the budget doesn't allow it." Found out a male colleague with less experience and fewer responsibilities makes 30% more than me. Brought receipts to HR with market data, comparable salaries, and his LinkedIn where he literally lists fewer qualifications. Got a 35% raise and a new title effective immediately. KNOW. YOUR. WORTH.
MarketingI work in retail and my manager just told me I need to "smile more" because I have "resting professional face." Ma'am, I am being paid $14/hour to fold jeans. I am not performing joy. I will give you competence and a name tag and that is the social contract.
Retail