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I refused to attend my coworker's MLM "party" (it was a candle thing) and she told everyone I'm "not a team player." Our boss agreed and mentioned it in my performance review. AN MLM CANDLE PARTY. IN MY PERFORMANCE REVIEW. My "areas for improvement" literally includes "building stronger relationships with colleagues outside of work." I am losing my mind.

Am I wrong for refusing to go to an MLM party?

I ate my coworker's clearly labeled lunch from the fridge. BUT — hear me out — she's eaten mine THREE times and each time said "oops, they looked the same!" Mine is in a bright pink bento box with my name in Sharpie. Hers is a brown bag. They do not look the same. So I ate her sushi out of pure spite and I'd do it again. She's furious. The office is divided.

Justified revenge or am I the lunch thief now?

I reported my coworker for taking 2-hour lunches every day. She said I was "being a snitch" and now the whole team is giving me the cold shoulder. But she was dumping her work on me because she was never at her desk! I was doing two people's jobs! I tried talking to her first and she said "mind your business." So I went to our manager. Now I'm the villain??

Was I wrong for going to the manager?

My team lead takes personal calls during our standup every single day. We're talking full conversations — "yeah babe pick up milk" — while we're waiting to give our updates. Last week I started my update while she was on the phone. She got mad and said I was being "disrespectful." I said standups are for everyone's time. She reported ME. Now I have a meeting with HR on Friday.

Was I disrespectful, or is she the problem?

My coworker asked if she could use my desk while I was on PTO because hers "doesn't get good light." I said no. She went to HR and said I'm creating a "hostile work environment." HR asked me to "be more flexible." I've been here 6 years. She started 3 months ago. Am I wrong for saying no??

Who's wrong — her for asking HR, or me for saying no?