My company just laid off 200 people via a Spotify playlist called "Moving On." The first song was "I Will Survive." HR thought they were being creative. The second song was "Hit the Road Jack." I cannot make this up. People were crying at their desks while the playlist auto-played on the office speakers.
StartupI work at a hospital and our department head just announced she's leaving to become an influencer. She has 347 Instagram followers. Her farewell email was 2,000 words long and included a QR code to her "wellness brand." The nurses' group chat has not recovered.
HealthcareTHE PARKING LOT STANDOFF, Part 1: Our office has assigned parking but one specific woman — let's call her Brenda — has decided that MY spot is actually HER spot because it's "closer to the elevator." She's been parking there for 3 weeks. I've left notes. I've emailed facilities. I've spoken to her directly. She said "parking spots aren't a personality trait, sweetie." Today I came in early and parked in MY spot. She parked directly behind me. Blocking me in. It's 4pm and I cannot leave. This is war.
CorporateTwo directors got into a screaming match during an all-hands about who gets the corner office. One of them literally said "I have more direct reports than you" like that's a flex. The CEO was on the call. He muted himself but forgot to turn off his camera — he was laughing so hard he was crying. We all saw it.
FinanceThe new girl in accounting has been here 6 weeks and has already made 3 people cry, gotten the break room microwave banned (long story involving salmon), and somehow convinced the CFO to approve a $40k budget for "team wellness" which turned out to be a sound bath in the parking garage. She's either a genius or a menace. Possibly both.
CorporateMy coworker got caught running an Etsy shop during work hours. Not just browsing — she was doing product photography in the conference room. Using the company ring light. HR found out because she accidentally shipped an order to the office. Her shop name? "Corporate Dropout Candles." She's still employed somehow.
LegalTHE PROMOTION SAGA, Part 1: So I've been at this company for 4 years. My boss told me in January I was "definitely" getting promoted in March. March comes, and she says "budget freeze, maybe June." June comes: "Let's revisit in Q4." It's now February of the NEXT YEAR. I just found out the role was given to someone who started 8 months ago. Someone she hired. Her sorority sister. I am not okay.
FinanceFound out my direct report has been having lunches with MY boss for 3 months. "Mentorship meetings" she calls them. Last week my boss casually mentioned she had "great ideas for the Q3 strategy." Those were MY ideas from a doc I shared with my report. I haven't said anything yet because I'm building my case. Stay tuned.
CorporateMy manager scheduled a "quick sync" at 4:58pm on a Friday. I joined the call and she spent 47 minutes explaining why she's restructuring the team. She never once mentioned that I'm being laid off, but heavily implied I should "explore my options." I just got a promotion 3 weeks ago. The woman is absolutely unhinged.
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